Winter Butterfly

by A. Maya

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about

My first Vocaloid album, with Avanna as the primary vocalist and Prima as the occasional back vocalist.
The full version of the album art can be found on my Deviant art, here: ataraxiamaya.deviantart.com/art/Avanna-Winter-Butterfly-465219224

credits

released July 3, 2014

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Hear Me
I would give my life to burn these
Twisted contracts and save your life
The way you saved mine

I've often told myself
To wake up, but
I'm just so hopelessly
Infatuated with the past
And all of my
Memories now

Dance like the broken shards
Of a fragile
Mirror, and even if you're ready for me to let go,
I never want
These dreams to end, and I
Can't help but hold onto them;
You know I can't
Erase them now

Nismadra
Essais ha delgar ni
Lusbur nalentair
Sumak sai achi tai

Can I really live
In a world where you
Do not exist?

Hear me as I
Lie next to your grave
And speak with you
'Til the dawn lays you to rest

My soul has died
With yours.
Please forgive me if
I don't make it -
Make it through this night.

Lead
Me to
Our grave,
Where the flowers
Are dancing
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Epitaph
Nismadra essais ha delgar ni
Lusbur nalentair
Sumak sai achi tai

Nismadra essais ha delgar ni
Lusbur nalentair
Sumak sai achi tai

This grave I sit upon -
Dare I recite the name?
Read me his epitaph.

Lusbur nalentair
Sumak sai achi tai

I let life tear me down
Because I believed in
Forever, and I know it's naive, but I
Still want to believe in
A happy ending for
Us...

Han endbur chey
Dos deyd alda rey
Demvere
Laia heya ou

Eternity -
The cold mornings in which I
Awaken by myself.
I thought that I'd taken my life, but I am alive,
Breathing without you.
Why am I here?
I fear
I've been cursed for this sin of mine.

Nismadra essais ha delgar ni
Lusbur nalentair
Sumak sai achi tai

This grave I sit upon -
Dare I recite the name?
Read me his epitaph
So that I
Remember...

There is a pain
In this darkness, and
It feels like me.
It must be mine.
It must be mine.
It must be mine.
This pain is mine.

If I could
Rewind the hands
Of time...

Death, please lift this curse.
I can no longer
Bear to roam this earth without my love.
My suicide
Was in vain.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Resignation
Some bonds break
With the flick
Of a wrist,
While other bonds
Are more sacred.
This is my letter of resignation:
Please read it well.

If love could be measured in years,
My dear, it'd be eternal,
But I know
That wolves wear sheep fleece
And even Lucifer once was an angel.

You are not whom you claim to be.

What is it you hope to achieve?
How long will you survive with your
Inflated pride, your hubris mind?
Did you really think you'd break the cycle?
No...
You are not good enough.

You weren't enough.

All you wanted was to reap the
Benefits of my blood and tears.
I know you
Would rather drink your
Own blood than show me that you
Had ever bled.

You are a needle in the hay.

What is it you hope to achieve?
How long will you survive with your
Inflated pride, your hubris mind?
Did you really think you'd break the cycle?
No...
No...
No...
You are not
Good enough.

You weren't enough.

I built this home
For you and I
Because I thought
That you were willing to be
The foundation
On which it stood,
But I now understand that
You just wanted
A shelter sewn
From the seeds of another's
Labor.

What is it you hope to achieve?
How long will you survive with your
Inflated pride, your hubris mind?
Did you really think you'd break the cycle?
No...
No...
No...
You are not
Good enough.

You weren't enough.

I know you're acquainted with the
Feeling of pain, yet you're willing
To inflict
It upon another
As long as you, alone, feel
That much better.

You are a wolf in sheep's clothing
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avan and Prima) - Imogen
When I first saw her, she
Was alone.
I couldn't say it, but she
Was beautiful as she dried away
Her tears and
Shed her skin to become one
With the sea.

I saw her die that day; she
Took her own
Life, and even though I only knew her
For a breath in time, I
Fell in love.
Oh, Imogen, I loved you
And your pain.

Oh, Imogen,
I couldn't save you,
But perhaps it was for the best.
Oh, Imogen.
Imogen.

I said goodbye to you,
As you've said
To your pain.

Oh.

Kannst du mich
Hören?
Wenn ich wüsste,
Dass Jemand mich lieben könnte würde ich
Mich aufgehalten.
Ich wunsch, dass ich
Züruckkehren könnte

Oh, Imogen,
I couldn't save you,
But perhaps it was for the best.
Oh, Imogen.
Imogen.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Forgetting Me
It is impossible to put a price
On a woman's feelings,
Yet many have tried with diamonds and gold.
Isn't it enough that I love you?
Still, you say:

"I'll make you a goddess,
My sweet I'ware.
I will give you it all -
All that's possible to give."
But I don't want these
Material things
Because the smile upon your lips is
The greatest gift I've ever received -
Received.

In your quest to become a god,
Don't forget about me.
If you go, remember my words
And the arms with which I held you.
Remember that I loved you when you were
No more than a man who was learning to breathe.

I once was lifeless, but now I'm breathing.
By the touch of your hand,
I've become real, and now you're everything
I need, yet it seems that
It's not enough,
For you say:

"I'll make you a goddess,
My sweet I'ware.
I will give you it all -
All that's possible to give."
But if your quest proves
To be all in vain,
And you find yourself to be nothing but
Ash, then surely I will die alongside you.

In your quest to become a god,
Don't forget about me.
If you go, remember my words
And the arms with which I held you.
Remember that I loved you when you were
No more than a man who was learning to breathe.

It had never been for me that you chased
After a god's power;
I never was worthy of these riches.
It was not for me that
You had killed him;
You'd forgotten
My embrace before you left me.

Even if I no longer bring
Flowers to your barren grave,
I still have your fleeting memories
Carved into my beating heart -
My heart.

Remember my words
And the arms with which I held you.
Remember that I loved you when you were
No more than a man who was learning to breathe.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Words Elude Me
You exist so deep -
So deep in my veins.
I need you just as I need
The blood that gives me life.

Whisper something
Sweet and allow
No one but me to hear.
In you, yes is no,
But you know that the
Situation is
Nothing but ambiguous.

If this is goodbye,
Let it be.
To drown in my own blood -
I sink alone.
If this is goodbye,
Let it be.

The words elude me,
But don't think for a moment
That I'm not hurting
Alongside you.
Don't think for a moment that I wouldn't
Trade places
With you,
If only I could.

If this is goodbye,
Let it be.
To drown in my own blood -
I sink alone.
If this is goodbye,
Let it be.

I will not deny that
Our love is
No more than an ideal.
I'd plant the seed
And I'd watch it bloom,
But if you aren't there to water it,
Then it will wilt,
Just as I'll wilt
When you're gone.

If this is goodbye,
Let it be.
To drown in my own blood -
I sink alone.
If this is goodbye,
Let it be.

The tears -
I find that they no longer come.
They no longer come

This cannot be the end,
For our
Story has yet to begin.
There is more for us.

This cannot be the end;
I won't let it be.
Be...

To drown in your blood -
I want to drown beside you.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - The Meadow
The passing of each day
Is time that I am wasting.
I'm bleeding out as I await your return, and
I'll wait until I have
No more blood to bleed.

Bis ich sterbe
Werde ich bluten

Isn't it lonely
Where you are?
I know you better than anyone else; I'm
The one who had died for you
So take my hand and lead me to the meadow.

Your words -
As soft as your voice.
Your skies -
No finer a color.
Within the river drowns the spell of
Summer Reid;
You and I have been reborn.

The night air is
Brushing against my skin.
The fireflies are dancing as you take my hand
And lead me to the
Meadow -
Our meadow.

Nimm mich zu
Der Weise mit

The sky is crying,
Whispering with the raindrops.
My memories are tearing me apart, and I'm
Coming completely undone.
Just take my hand and lead me to the meadow.

Your words -
As soft as your voice.
Your skies -
No finer a color.
Within the river drowns the spell of
Summer Reid;
You and I have been reborn.

Wann ist mein blauer Himmel
Die Farbe des Blutes geworden?
Diese Liebe
Tut mir weh.

This night is nothing less than magic.
I will allow you to call me yours if I
Can call you mine.
My love, let's cast away our destiny and stay here,
In our meadow.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Sarah Ann's Lullaby
When they dig my grave,
I hope that you
Spare me one more thought.
Recall me -
Think of this lullaby.

If I've shed no blood,
I hope that you
Kiss my cold lids shut
And tell me,
"Good night, love,"
Then I'll go.

If this tragedy
Was brought about
By my own dagger,
Recall me
And unearth my remains.

When the gem is dull,
Recall my voice
And this old song that
Holds the key -
Then unearth my remains.

Do not search my grave,
Nor the study,
But keep searching for me
And unearth my remains.

If what you seek is the hidden lock,
Use my key and I'll lead
You to my lost remains.

If you seek me out,
I will lead you
Beneath the parlor, and
We will find my remains
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - Haunt Me
Once upon a time, you stood beside me
And protected me from myself.
But you've left me behind,
Crossing worlds, where I can't reach you.

I know I don't deserve you,
But letting go
Is just so hard.

Every piece of me is numb,
Yet I feel
Every drop of pain as violently
As I'd felt the first time.

Lead me back to your bed, where I
Can finally rest.
Close my eyes -
I've forseen the end

With each breath I take,
Your voice haunts me,
Taunts me.
This pain is going to overflow and pour
Out of me

Anniversaries and birthdays -
Voices, faces -
I wish
They meant nothing, but they're burned into me as
Though they're a lifetime of sins and I am
Awaiting judgment.

Wherever I turn, you are
Always there -
The things
You loved and all the things that you had hated -
They dictate -

They dictate my very being.
I am sorry that I
Couldn't be the one; you know that I tried.

All that I had ever wanted
Was for you to love me too.

With every breath that I take,
Your voice haunts
Me, haunts me, haunts me, haunts me.
The desire to hear you
Again is the only thing I
Can feel, and I can say
I would give anything to run

Back into your arms and say
That I was the one who was wrong,

But I know that's not true;
You were the one
Who was in the wrong.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - The Bottom of the Lake
Do you remember the
Vow we made
Many years ago
In the past that we have left behind?

We promised to be together
Until the very end -
We were happy.

Our stems were
Once intertwined, but
The flowers had budded
Miles apart.

I opened up to you
And gave you a part of my soul -
All you can say
Is that you thought
That you know me, but you weren't able to -
You couldn't see that

That was me, and
This is me.

I sometimes fall apart
But that doesn't make me
Suicidal.
You will never understand
That flowers do not flourish
Without the rain.
I know that you'll -
You'll never understand that.
But that doesn't change
A single damn thing.

Don't say that my laughter
Wasn't real; you know I never
Faked anything.
But sometimes I had lost
Myself in whom you wanted me
To be, but I know

(That) In the dark, I know
(Was me, and this) Who I truly am.
(Is me) I know who I am.

All of my existence,
I've walked this barren path.
This is the life I was given,
And I can't just cast it away
Because you
Want me to be more like you.
You are caging me

(You're not always) I didn't want to
(Right) Give myself up
(Not always right) Because you couldn't get that I

Sometimes fall apart,
But that doesn't mean I'm
Suicidal.
You will never understand
That people cannot blossom
Without hardships.
I know that you'll -
You'll never understand me.
And that is what will
Divide you and

I won't survive much longer
If you keep suffocating me.
Let me drown in this lake,
For when I reach the bottom,
I'll see the real me.
Track Name: A. Maya (feat. Avanna) - The Charlatan
Behind every smile is a broken mirror
In which we find the crying
Reflection of ourselves,
But what is now left of this smile I feign?
Nothing but you, and you wear
It like it gives
You pleasure.

But I see
You're rotting
Inside.

You have deceived all of the people who believe
In your web of lies
And they'll forsake you once they see through
Your guise.

You talk like me
And you laugh like me -
Go ahead and hide your cowardly self inside
Of my skin, for I
Still know what is real and what is
Fake

Release your dove -
Pretend you're
At peace
When you want war.

How can I
Remain neutral
When you provoke
Me and
Pretend
As though you aren't just the
Imitation of a person
You saw as blithe?

All this time, you were better
Than me, and yet
You can't
Stand to
Face yourself, so rotten -
Hide it, become someone else.

Say you want war.

I will not
Remain neutral
When you kill me,
Screw me,
And try
To pin all the blame on
Everyone else; you save yourself
And fuck the rest.

All this time, you were greater
Than me, yet you
Persist
In veiling whom you truly are;
Hide it, pretend that you're me